


Maybe He's Born With It

by keylimepie



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel Has a Crush, Crack, Dean Can't Cope, Helpful Castiel, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Oblivious Dean, Possibly Pre-Slash, Sam Has Secrets, Sam's Hair
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-23
Updated: 2016-05-23
Packaged: 2018-06-10 06:14:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6943132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keylimepie/pseuds/keylimepie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean is determined to figure out Sam's hair care secrets.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Maybe He's Born With It

**Author's Note:**

> I'm bad at tags and summaries, and I have no beta. Hope it's not so bad anyway!

Dean Winchester sat at the kitchen table, making a shopping list. “Hey Sammy, do you need anything? Hippie grub? Shaving cream? Shampoo?”

Sam didn’t look up from the mixture he was putting in the blender. “More Greek yogurt. I think this is the last of it. And maybe some kale.” 

“You know,” Dean said, leaning against the counter, “now that I think of it, I can’t remember ever picking up hair stuff for you. What do you use? I figure you ought to have some kind of organic special foreign oils stuff for hair that fabulous.” Dean’s tone was mocking, but a touch envious. 

“I dunno. Just whatever’s around.” Sam answered curtly. He turned on the smoothie blender and the noise made further conversation impossible, so Dean dropped it and continued surveying the cupboards and jotting things down. 

Dean returned that afternoon from shopping and put his purchases away. As he put soap and toothpaste in the bathroom, he thought to check the shower. No, no hair care products besides the bargain brand shampoo that he always used. Surely Sammy’s flowing locks demanded at least some kind of conditioner. He puzzled about it as he went about the rest of his day. 

“You take a long time in the shower,” Dean grumbled the next day, as Sam exited the bathroom wrapped in a towel, another towel around his hair. “You deep conditioning or something?” 

“Sure, whatever,” Sam muttered, continuing towards the bedroom. 

“What is it, some kind of girly product you don’t want me knowing about?” 

Sam snorted. “Hardly.” He shut the bedroom door behind him. 

Dean scowled after his brother, frustrated. 

It was a few days later, while sitting on the couch watching TV with Castiel, when Dean decided to enlist some help. 

“Cas, can your angel mojo tell you what something is? Like a chemical analysis?” 

Castiel frowned contemplatively. “Usually, yes. Is there a case I can help you solve?” 

“No, not a case exactly, just… a thing.” 

“I’ll help you out with your thing if I can, of course Dean,” Castiel said earnestly. 

Dean jumped up from his seat with a cough and retrieved a baggie from the desk drawer. In it was a still-damp clump of hair. “Can you see what might be on this hair?” 

Castiel stared at Dean, then down at the baggie. He picked it up and dumped the wet hairball into his palm. 

“This is Sam’s hair,” he said with certainty. “If there is something wrong with Sam, perhaps I should go look at him instead of his hair.” 

“No- no, there’s nothing wrong with Sam. At least, I don’t think so. No more than usual anyway. No, it’s not that.” Dean sighed. “Look, I just want to know what he washes it with, okay?” 

Castiel tilted his head and looked curiously at Dean, then turned his attention back to the hair in his palm. “It tingles. It’s almost like…“ Cas’s eyes went suddenly wide, and he poked the hairball with his finger. “Oh. I see.” 

He was quiet, and at last Dean burst out. “What? What is it, man?” 

Castiel sighed. “I don’t think it’s my place to tell you.” 

“What? He’s my brother, I think I have a right to know-“ 

“It may be personal, and he may not wish you to know.” 

“Dammit, Cas!” Dean was extremely agitated with worry. 

Castiel took a breath. “It’s infused with tiny particles of Grace, bonded to the very strands of hair via the proteins and DNA strands of the angel in question’s vessel.” 

“There’s an angel in Sam’s hair?” Dean spat out incredulously. 

“Not the entire angel, no.” 

“So how are there angel bits in Sam’s hair? Wait, what angel? And what bits? Start over again, man.” Dean rubbed his temples. 

“It’s… particles of Grace, such as an angel might shed in moments of extreme emotion. The fact that the physical essence of the vessel was also present allowed the Grace to bond to Sam’s hair strands.” 

“So who kissed Sam’s head? Were you kissing Sam’s head?” Dean narrowed his eyes suspiciously. 

“No!” Cas exclaimed. “No, it wasn’t me! And it wasn’t a kiss, a kiss would never transfer that much DNA.” 

“So what transfers… oh. Oh, no, no, no.” Dean leaned heavily on the desk, eyeing the hairball in Castiel’s hand with disgust. 

“It appears to be ejaculate,” Cas confirmed. 

“Holy shit,” Dean moaned. “Cas, for God’s sake, go throw that away and wash your hands!” The hairball disappeared and Castiel held his palms up, magically clean. 

“Well I guess Gabriel hasn’t exactly been coming around here for the quality of my home cooked meals,” Dean grumbled. “I can’t believe your oversexed brother seduced my baby brother with promises of better hair.” 

“Dean, I don’t pretend to understand the intricacies of romance or sexuality, but I doubt it was about the hair.” Dean scowled, this not seeming a much better prospect. He dropped back into his seat on the couch beside Castiel. 

“Well anyway, I guess there goes my hope of finding out the brand of conditioner and getting some seriously awesome hair myself,” sighed Dean ruefully. He ran his fingers through his unruly locks. 

Castiel tilted his head and looked at Dean. “Your hair is aesthetically pleasing in its natural state, Dean,” he assured the hunter. “But if you ever feel that you need assistance… that is to say, I’m sure I can formulate some sort of…” Castiel trailed off awkwardly. “But in any case, it is my opinion that you should continue with your current hairstyle. And that you should not confront Sam with your knowledge of his activities. No doubt he fears that you will have some sort of emotional outburst regarding the nature of his relationship with my brother.” 

Dean nodded and took a sip from his beer thoughtfully. “Fine, no teasing Sammy,” he agreed at last. He and Castiel continued watching the movie in comfortable silence, neither broaching the subject of hair again. As Dean gradually drifted off to sleep, slumping over to rest his head upon Castiel’s shoulder, the angel threaded his fingers through the man’s hair and smiled softly to himself.


End file.
